If College Is One Big Party, What Is The Real World?
If college is one big party, what is the real world?
That’s a question that popped into my mind while contemplating whether or not I should attend an office happy hour. I don’t drink. My friends know it. If there’s one thing that’s more frustrating than learning how to navigate a college party while sober, it’s learning how to navigate the real world while sober.
Administration representatives are not dumb. They know what goes on Thursday — Saturday nights (and at big party schools, what happens on almost a daily basis). Underage drinking happens. There, I said it.
It’s not a secret. And punishing students doesn’t address what’s really going on and it’s implications for what happens when students Graduate. I’m not talking about alcoholism or even party culture.
I’ll be honest. I went to High School parties where there was alcohol. I’m not afraid to say that anymore. But there was a time, where I feared for my future, what would happen if the secret got out. But I was a High School kid. What else was I supposed to do. Stay holed up in my room all day?
I’m 24 and still haven’t had a sip of alcohol.
“Wow.” Some of my peers say.
“Good for you.”
But there’s a danger to being this steadfast in your morals. You realize ahead of schedule, that your morals don’t mean anything unless you’re in the right environment.
I’ll give you an example.
Let’s suppose you’re a vegetarian. Never had meat in your entire life. At the school you were in before you graduated, you had plenty of vegetarian options. Almost too many. But then, after you graduate, you start working at an Accounting firm. You work insanely long hours, and because you spend more time at your desk with your team then you do at home, you order dinner.
This is your first time being in the “real world.”
But to your surprise, your teammates aren’t receptive to ordering from places that have vegetarian options. Better yet, you’re having trouble finding vegetarian options that you like.
When things weren’t as busy, you cooked your food. Brought it to work. Life was easy. But now, things just went sideways. What do you do?
Who do you talk to?
How do you fix this if the people in your environment aren’t receptive? Yup. You guessed it. You deal with it.
Think about it.
In College, you’re meant to make it look like you don’t drink, when in actuality EVERYONE knows that everyone does. And since everyone drinks before you get to the real world, it’s a part of the culture once you reach your work environment. And if you haven’t adapted to the culture by then, it may have actual implications for your ability to navigate the work environment. Moreover, it seems odd that you haven’t done the thing that most have, yet.
The office becomes a party that you aren’t aware of how to navigate.
[ADDED 10–20]
And as Zander Netercutt says in his Series introducing a piece discussing the Pepsi Generation:
“People don’t want a three inch drill, they want a three inch hole”
Which he elaborated to say people don’t want alcohol, they want to tolerate family events (I may be paraphrasing and will update at a later date). But what this means is that college administrations neglect to teach real world students the correct skill.
“How to move in a room full of vultures” as Jay Z put it. But I don’t mean vultures in the way that people view vultures, as vile creatures there to take scraps or whatever life hands them. I mean it in the sense that the environment you are in is different from the morals you have.
My Dad expressed real concern about this phenomena.
In High School and College assemblies we were urged:
“DON’T BE IN PHOTOS WITH ALCOHOL”
Those who listened lived in fear of being accidentally caught in a picture, posted by another friend on social media, or worse, by someone we didn’t know at all, and that photo being found by an administrator at the school of our dreams. Costing us our future.
At that age, I wish I was able to think through what was actually going on.
I would have sat my Dad down and said, Dad.
When you were growing up, you didn’t have phones. You didn’t have social media. You didn’t have computers. I only know the things about your life that you chose to share. I’m sure you did things you’re ashamed of. But there was no documentation on it.
It’s lost in time.
So YOU want ME to avoid EVERY SINGLE CAMERA OUT THERE?
In times like these, that’s like trying to walk down the street without getting sunlight on you, in the middle of the summer. . . IN TEXAS!
What happens when EVERY SINGLE UNDERAGE KID who drinks has pictures posted of themselves with alcohol? Supply and Demand. It won’t matter anymore.
Are there enough cops in the world to arrest EVERYONE with pictures of alcohol on their social media?
At some point, the law is going to tip in the favor of underage drinkers. Where lawmakers are going to realize let’s just change this rule. 21 was too arbitrary in the first place.
But at the same time the core of the issue will not have been resolved. How do we help children to navigate in an environment that does not align with their morals?
I think the answer is that all environments, at an early age, must be tailored to the morals we want children to develop. Because the fact remains that the brain, that thing that controls all of our behavior, IS NOT fully developed yet 🍎.
